Shamu; your hips don't lie

OKAYYY! I'll admit it, I've been slacking :( . Turns out my trainer was as lazy as I am so I got a new one who's a lot more on her game. Her name is Sam and she's going to be my first female trainer, I can tell you already I'm much more comfortable doing jumping jacks with a girl looking at me. Makes me a lot less self conscious of my jigglyness and my knockers bouncing around. She's really talkative and nice but just has a way of guilting me just enough to make me want to make that extra effort to come to the gym after a long day at school and work. I haven't been going to the gym much lately, but only because I took a weeks vacation and went to Cuba so I've fallen a little behind in my school work and had to work extra hours at work to make up for it. But now things are starting to get back to normal. A normal schedule where I can MAKE the time to get my fat ass to the gym. Especially since in 2 years of traveling with my mom and friends I have never before felt as much of a WHALE as I did on this vacation. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin that I wasn't even able to do the things I loved doing there. I used to participate in all the beach games and go swimming in the ocean as much as possible. But I felt so self conscious that I didn't want to do any of that because I didn't want to be seen in my bathing suits, even though I bought a bunch of new ones for the occasion. Also at nights I loved going to the disco and dance and shake my ass like the locals but this time it was horrible! I would see them so svelte and sexy and here I was feeling like Shamu not Shakira! I have to change this. I can't let this get any worse. My fat has got to go! This isn't me! I'm not someone who can't do what they love because they are uncomfortable doing it. No one should ever be uncomfortable doing what they love! Like sleeping! How can you sleep without being comfy?!!! You CAN'T!! So I can't live this way. I can't be this way anymore! I will do it this time. I will... I have to.